What NOT to Write in the MLS

3 bedroom 2 Bath House. Giant Electric Tower in the backyard.

Everytime I look through listings on the MLS, I have to laugh at some of the real estate wording and phrases they use to describe a property. Sometimes they just use terrible descriptive words – “adequately sized bedrooms” doesn’t really sound all that appealing, does it? Others use excessive exclamation points: “2 bedroom condo! Downtown! Equipped kit!!! 1st flr Laundry!!!!!! Well Maintained!!!!!!!!!!! Go in!!!!!!!!” Then there are agents who try to make the property sound a lot better than it really is.

Many agents assume that the MLS description is only seen by other agents. While that’s a nice thought, in reality if your MLS uses IDX to go to other websites, there’s a excellent chance those comments will automatically feed right into their property description. So potential buyers and your clients can see what you’ve written as well. I’ve seen agents place the code for a contractor lock box in before in these comments and appear on our broker’s website listing of the property.

So today for your real estate entertainment, here’s some that I’m taking straight out of the MLS today and what other agents and potential buyers probably will reckon when reading them. In  other words, here are some things you should NOT write in the MLS property descriptions:

Freshly painted, needs major renovation…(Why bother with the paint then? What are you trying to hide?)

Not a drive by! (You’re assuming we’re assuming the worst, aren’t you?)

Walking Distance to Lowes (Yeah, lugging those 2×4′s or a gas grill a half mile on foot should be no problem! Or are they implying we’ll be going there a lot to update & repair the house?)

Minutes to Interstate (Yep, it’s in your backyard!)

Space in basement for canning  (Is a couple of shelves in the basement really the best feature of this house?)

No Show Until July 1st (Never mind that was three months ago…wonder why it hasn’t sold yet?)

This one is a excellent looker (I hope looks better than your grammar!)

Friendly Dog (All right, a house with dog smell and pet hair! YES!)

Show & Sell! (If it were only that simple!)

Windows in upper and lower levels (That’s really outstanding! The house has windows?)

Absolute Dream! (I reckon the only one dreaming is the agent – outdated ranch home with a kitchen straight from the 70′s and about $20,000 overpriced!)

Hopefully you got a excellent laugh out of these and that it will serve as a reminder to always check what your MLS descriptions say. A description should be highlighting what’s nice or vital about the house. You want to make sure there are up-to-date, have no grammar or spelling errors, and make sense and are realistic. If in doubt, question someone else to read over it for you!

Have you seen any amusing property descriptions in the MLS? Share your favorite worst ways agents describe property in the comments below!